Movement #9

This was quite the interesting day in movement. We made shapes. Made shapes, you ask? Yeah. We made shapes as individuals and with partners. It was actually really fun. I formed one pose, and then my partner had to respond in taking the energy I was forming and hold it, and then I had to respond to the partner's pose. Then we ended as a big giant cluster of posers. :D

Movement #8

Rubber bands, huh? That's what we played in movement today. I gotta say, some of these things I don't know how I'll be able to apply to acting. Sure, being flexible and everything is great and all, but what if I have to be sturdy and rigid for a part? A rubber band surely won't help me. I'll just have to wait and see what happens later in life then. Who knows? This rubber band thing may just get me into Broadway!

Movement #6 & 7

Today in movement I wasn't present. But I asked what we did in class to some that did attend and they mentioned that they played around with their bodies pretending to be flame and water and certain elements. The next day in movement there was flame and water as well as clay and some others I can't recall. It was really interesting to see what my body could do as these elements. I've always just thought of myself as a human that's made of 80% water. Being a flame was pretty fun, not gonna lie. :P

Movement #5

Today in movement we learned the box with different types of movements. You know, the box with the different points in space that I learned in winterguard, only less points. We applied the flick, jab, punch, etc. movements to these. I gotta say that it was really hard for me. I totally forgot the order so when Anthony asked me to lead the class in the warmup using this, I was completely lost. I'm glad Payden helped me out because I would have made a bigger fool of myself if he wasn't there. :P

Today In Movement #3 & 4

Today in Movement #3: I hardly remember what we did in movement on Thursday. I guess that's what you get for not writing about it the day it happened, right? I think it had to do with... telling a story in certain planes. We stood in front of the mirror wall and tried to tell a story with just our body, no words. At first it was easy because we used all of our planes (vertical, horizontal, and sagittal) but once we were limited to just one plane, it got difficult. I guess it was hard for me because I'm such a versatile person and I like to adapt to everything and anything to make me and others comfortable. Other than this... I seriously cannot remember anything else.

Today in Movement #4: I remember this one because it was today!! We learned about different terms such as weight, speed, and time, and how they are integrated in movement in acting. We also learned of all the different angles in our box. That part wasn't new to me. I learned all 27 points of space during my time with Urban Expressions winterguard. In class, we also moved towards all these points using our bodies, making a "more 3-D version" of us. During UEX, we used flags to do this, and I found that using bodies is much harder than flags... but I'd rather use flags. :P

Today in Movement #2

Today in Movement #2: On Thursday we played a game where we got to learn everyone's names. We played such game because we all got a person we're supposed to watch throughout the entire semester. After playing this game, I realized that I suck at learning people's names, even though they were repeated countless times. I've just always failed at names. We didn't do much after that though. We turned in some assignments about how we viewed ourselves and what we want to learn to do with our bodies, etc., etc.. I'm supposed to write something insightful about the class, but there was nothing there that made me think of anything else. Sorry, Anthony, but I'm sure this blog entry fails. :P

***

Now. Onto serious business... ugh.

I've got a lesson to learn, but I'm too stubborn to do so. I was talking about the fire with Jordan and Amber yesterday and we mentioned both the one here near Cedar and the others in California. I knew that YouTube was offering a special section covering the fires in California and I was curious to see if anyone had captured the fire near Cedar on video. So I typed in Cedar City in the search bar and a few videos came up, but none that pertained to the fires. Instead, two caught my eye. One of them had to do with police brutality to someone having a seizure and the other was a guy in a green shirt sitting outside.

I watched both of them. The police one bored me to death whereas the other one... I enjoyed. I mean, I really, REALLY enjoyed it. The guy sitting outside talked about how it was his Welcome Week and how classes were going to start on Monday. And I realized that I was attracted to this guy, and a lot. He then showed the Adams Theater, one of the few Shakespearean Globe Theater replicas in the world. It was at that time that I recognized this kid, but I had no Idea where he was from.

I knew I had seen him somewhere. So I started going through his other videos which were very interesting. He talked about how his mother called him a pedophile for being gay, he made that "51 Things In My Room" video, and he talked about his makeup tips that he uses when he's in a show. That's when it clicked. It's ShortPrep Boy whose real name is Jacob.

I watched the rest of Jacob's videos and I came to realize that he's a very interesting guy, and I'm kind of glad he's in Cedar. I think he'll make a very nice addition to the crazy theater group we have. I noticed one of his videos was in Juniper, which made an instant connection with me, as that's where I lived last year.

I showed him to Kelly, and she mentioned that he looked a little like James, which instantly freaked the FUCK out of me. I could have gone my entire life without knowing that he gives the resemblance of James to anyone in the world. I mean, James wasn't bad, but just like I've had bad luck with Jonathans, I don't want to have bad luck with Jameses, and to make that connection, well... it's a kind of superstitious kind of thing.

I don't think he looks like James at all.

He's my height. James is four inches taller.
He's got dark hair. James has brown hair.
He acts just the right amount of "gay." James is too feminine to be gay.
He's got blue eyes. James has... blue eyes.
His wardrobe consists of a lot of American Eagle... and so does James'.
He's got a lot of sexy stubble. James... can have sexy stubble too.

Oh my God. Fine. He DOES remind me of James. But I don't like that story, so I will ignore it. Instead, I'll focus on how he isn't like James at all. Jordan met him today personally in person face to face in front of him, something I can't just do like he did. Jordan told me he's got a really likable personality. Both Jordan and Jacob and their respective friends were on their way to dinner, which is when Jordan called me and told me to go to dinner with him, which I OBVIOUSLY did.

While in the cafeteria, I noticed that Jordan chose a table next to him. So it's not like I could admire from far away because I got the seat that was right behind his. Our backs were to each other, but still angled in such a way that if I looked to my left I could see him for the most part. And, like always, I had the worst luck. I made a chicken salad for dinner. I spilled ranch dressing on my shirt, food fell from my mouth, I tripped over my own backpack, and... ugh. It just wouldn't end. Jordan told me that while I was eating he kept looking back at me. And I don't know how I feel about that. It could be a good thing in the way that he could be interested in me. It could be a bad thing because he could have been looking back at me because he found me annoying. I couldn't tell. I never saw him look.

The worst part happened when I was about to give my dishes to the dishwashers. I was chewing on some ice from my drink while I was walking towards the dishwashers. One of my teeth decided to be sensitive today, so I got one of those sharp pains from the ice, and I made a face... right as he looked at me. RIGHT AS HE LOOKED AT ME. It was probably the MOST embarrassing moment of my LIFE... up to this point of my life.

Now it's safe to think that he probably thinks I'm some complete creeper asshole weirdo that makes faces at random people. UGH. My life...

The lesson: Do NOT like anyone. Did I pass? Nope. I failed EPICLY. What makes this completely different from the James situation is that we're not friends. We don't know each other, although I know him more than he knows me (thanks to YouTube). We haven't hung out, and unlike James, he's already out during his freshman year. I was James' first guy, whereas Jacob seems to have already had experienced. I mean, the guy talks about getting sexted in one of his videos and how he found it disgusting. I find it disgusting too! That's something we have in common!

If anything, I just want to be Jacob's friend. I'd be perfectly happy with that. It's what I wanted with James and with Ian. We're still really good friends, the both of them with me, and if that's where it's always meant to end, then so be it. I sure am keeping my mouth shut a lot more with this one though, because I certainly do NOT want an April situation to happen, nor another James. That's the one thing that's keeping me from truly talking with Jacob, or with anyone for that matter.

I don't want another two week thing.
I don't want anyone to think he's entitled to bossing me around.
I don't want anyone to think they can ridicule my clothes because his are "better."
I don't want to be rejected again.

If I'm taking the chance to actually go out of my way for some guy I've never met before to befriend and maybe have that slim possibility of having some benefits... nobody can blame me for asking for four small, insignificant negatives to go away. I seriously think it's time someone shows me that not all guys in the world aren't Kadens, or Jameses, or Coltens, or Jonathans.

I'm not taking any chances.